As Promised...

I'm updating!

Life the last few months has been kind of...all over the place. For a little while early in the year I thought and felt that I was in need of separation and independence...and that the second could not come without the first. I came very close to giving up the life I've made out here with my boy, and it scares me to think that had things worked out the way I intended them to at the time, I would have.

In the 3 weeks or so that Scott and I were "separated" I did a lot of thinking, as did he. I realize now that he is, as I thought from the beginning, my other half...he completes me. We may not see things exactly the same way all the time...(it's silly to think that anyone does) but with communication and care we solve whatever seems to come our way. I was convinced he didn't need my nurturing characteristics, come to find he does...just in ways I didn't see. Need is a strong word though...he doesn't need them...but it certainly helps. I've always known the reasons he's good for me. He doesn't let me get too caught up in things emotionally. He provides me with a calm, logical reasoning to help me keep my feet on the ground. He just balances out my strengths and weaknesses and compliments my general nature. My family loves him. They think he's perfect for me. They've seen how he's helped me grow, and how extremely well he takes care of me.

In the last few weeks he's been so much happier it seems. He just seems to have opened up himself a lot more. He now knows what's making him unhappy and is on course to changing it. He's been so much more attentive to me. I don't feel so much like a burden or a guest in his home. It's feeling more and more like our home.

I could go on and on...but to sum it up: we're doing really well. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me and I can't believe I ever lost sight of that. Though, I never doubted that I love him with all my heart. I am very relieved to know I never even thought I didn't.

Moving on.

On March 26th I was in a car accident. Most anyone who reads this will already know about it. Long story short my breaks and some ice didn't get along during a blizzard and I fish-tailed across 3 lanes of highway traffic and hit a guard rail on the other side head on at about 40 mph. "Totaled" my car, airbags deployed ($2k), windshield broke ($200), shifted the right front of my car in a little, and something happened so that it didn't want to shift anymore....so...blah. I still hate that it happened. I still get this sort of ...almost guilty feeling when I think about it, even though I know there was nothing I could have done aside from not being there at that point in time. Anyway, I got a few bruises but nothing too bad. The worse part of it has been the on going headache due to results of a brief concussion I obtained when I hit the guard rail. My brain still hasn't quite recovered from that yet. Had a CT scan done today to make sure everything is alright. I'm sure it will be.

We did, however, find me another car quite quickly. Thanks to my awesome and loving boy. Another little civic. '98, black, two door, EX. It's a little nicer than my other one and even has less mileage! It's quite adorable and I'm growing attached to it already. I kinda want to personalize this one a little more though. =3

So life has been kind of exciting...in a very up and down sort of way. Mostly down, but I try not to let it get to me anymore. I have a pretty positive outlook on life, there's no point in letting it get to me. Life goes on. Aside from still being on vicodin, suffering the various thought process issues I've had due to my brain being slammed into my skull, and having the constant headache (though it's significantly less painful than it was before) I really can't complain. Things are looking up, I'm still very much in love with a wonderful man, and spring is on the way.

Now, it's time for me to go curl up with my beloved and get some sleep.

<3
Z